The Green Mile

So the other night, my flatmate and I decided to watch a film, and she said she wanted to watch The Green Mile. I, after making a couple of feeble it's-too-long, I'm-too-tired excuses, gave in and stuck it on.

This is the second and a half time I've watched it, the first being with my mum when I was about fifteen (very poor choice for a mother-daughter girl's night, has to be said), the second I don't really count because it was with several friends and nobody was really paying attention (I hate it when people do that). So it's not like I don't know what's going to happen. It's not like any of it comes as a surprise.

And yet, I still felt my heart pumping, toes curling, legs tensing and tear ducts working overtime at all the appropriate moments. Generally speaking, if I watch a tearjerker with other people, it doesn't make me cry. Generally speaking, if I watch a tearjerker that I know is a tearjerker, it doesn't make me cry. Generally speaking, if I watch a tearjerker I've seen before, it doesn't make me cry. 'Generally speaking', doesn't really apply to this film. I cried like a baby.

And I think it takes a very special kind of film to hit you with that level of emotion several times. This is the only film I've known that has left me emotionally exhausted at the end of it - it's so long, and intense, and touching, and horrifying, and generally compelling.

It's not a film you could (or should) watch over and over again - it's going to be another few years, at least, before I go there again. But it is one of the most touching stories ever filmed, and if you've never seen it I have to tell you that you must - it's a film like no other. And take tissues.

Review: The Three Musketeers

I wrote this for my student newspaper, and thought I'd give you (yes, all of y- well, you, Roz) all the benefit of my opinion as well. :)

It’s never good when the guy selling you tickets at the cinema casually says, “It’s rubbish, by the way.”

This was particularly disappointing as I’d been looking forward to seeing the swashbuckling adventure with Logan Lerman, Matthew MacFadyen, Luke Evans, Orlando Bloom, Milla Jovovich etc. for months. With a cast list like that, and a story that’s been retold so many times, I didn’t think you could go far wrong.

But…well, you can. At the end of the day, this is pretty much one of your standard expensive Hollywood movies; OTT effects, far-fetched plot, horrendously predictable script, overly-camp acting (of which Orlando Bloom in particular was very guilty). You can sympathise with the try-too-hard acting though; it must be pretty difficult to deliver a good performance with a script this dodgy. At several points in the film, it almost felt like you were playing a game of ‘finish the dialogue’ – every other line was some schmaltzy, predictable cliché about love, honour or courage.

However, that said, I did actually enjoy it. This film knows exactly what it is, and it’s not pretending to be a thought-provoking, intelligent drama – it’s just a fun adventure movie. Visually, it’s pretty spectacular – the sets and costumes all look great, and when the special effects aren’t being ridiculous (flying ships in the seventeenth century…really?), they’re very impressive. There are plenty of pretty faces to look at, and the stunt co-ordination was excellent – usually in five-minute sword-fighting sequences I tune out completely, but something exciting happened every ten seconds in these fights, so they really kept your attention.

Is it going to win Oscars? Definitely no. Would I watch it again? Most likely, yes. It’s not a work of art, but it’s easy to watch, it doesn’t work your brain too hard, and it’s plain old good fun. Also, I really fancy about four of the actors, so I'm slightly biased.

Basic summary: if you’re a fan of swashbuckling, predictable, fun, exciting, cliché remakes with a great cast and a ridiculously far-fetched storyline (which I pretty much am), then you’ll love it. Otherwise, best avoided.

Rating: * * * (good)

Review: The Full Monty

I warn you, I'm now at University and so a) have limited access to DVDs and b) can no longer afford cinema (HEARTBREAK), hence the massive gap in posts.

Anyway, on the upside, this means I have a whole new plethora of people to force my favourite films on, because I know it's good for them, even if they don't. Last night's conquest (oh...yeah, rephrase), I mean convert, was my flatmate Lizzi, who was sat down, plied with wine and forced to watch one of the absolute best films of all time - The Full Monty.

For the deprived who have never seen this glorious film, it's set in Sheffield - once the biggest UK provider of steel but, at the time the film is set, having just had most of it's factories shut down. A group of ex-steelworkers get sick of playing cards at the jobclub and, after the Chippendales visit the city, realise that there's a fair bob or two to be earned in stripping, even as a one-off. When the main character - Gaz - is told he has to fork out £700 to keep joint custody of his son, the 'thought' becomes a 'plan', and the 'plan' becomes arguably one of the best British comedies of all time.

You have to see the film to realise why it's so funny - a witty script combined with the superb comic timing of Robert Carlyle, Mark Addy and the gang are pure comedy gold. And not only is it funny, but there are moments of real hearwarming...ness.

It's just amazing, I cannot say enough good things about this film. It's easily in my Top Ten Films Of All Time, so if you ever get the opportunity to watch it, do, and if you have never had the opportunity, create the opportunity.

Basic summary: a laugh-out-loud, well-written, touching and generally brilliant British classic.

Rating: * * * * * (excellent)